The Inevitable
by FeudalAi
Summary: Inevitable... That's what this was. This outcome. This fate. This love, it was unstoppable. She hadn't had a choice, she never had. It was outside of her will - fate's decree. Rin has spent years growing up within the small village that her Lord had left her at. She was happy, until her future was ripped from her... Love has a funny way of finding you when you least desire it.
1. Chapter 1

Rin weaved her slim fingers through the tall brush of grass. The strands rose to nearly her hip, making her sigh in happiness. It had been so long since she had last done this. She pinched her eyes shut tightly and threw her arms out to her sides before she began to run through the familiar meadow. The soft ground crunched underneath her bare feet, her shoes safely tucked away at the base of a nearby tree. She could hear the babbling of the nearby stream and the soft chatter of birds as they nested in the trees that surrounding the small clearing.

It was like heaven.

With a disgruntled sigh, she stopped running and lowered her arms. She took in one more deep breath of the dewy grass and opened her eyes. The morning beams of light broke into her vision, nearly making her cringe.

She wasn't ready for the day yet.

Today was her eighteenth birthday… and she would be married in a week's time.

She reached up and untied her restrained hair. Her black hair fell down upon her in waves, easily cascading over her shoulder and wandering its way down to nearly her waist. She twiddled with the ends of a few of the silky strands as she, once again, absentmindedly thought about cutting it…

… She hadn't cut it since she had last seen her Lord and four years was a damn long time to wait.

She cringed at her own thought, bemoaning her use of foul language. She had been around Inuyasha far too much and was starting to pick up some of his lesser appealing habits. She never spoke such dishonorable words allowed, but sometimes they ran rampant within her brain.

She sat down on the ground and leaned back against the palms of her hands so that she could look up at the early morning sky. Images of her Lord flashed through her mind in a blurry haze. Some things about him she could remember with stunning clarity… Like the way his amber eyes pierced into her and the sharp angle of his jawline. Other things, like how he smelled, were beginning to slip from her mind. But then again, she reasoned, she was only human after all.

The puffy clouds above moved slowly across the pale blue sky. She wanted to freeze time. She didn't want to face another birthday without him. She didn't want him to miss her wedding. She wanted to see him, at least one last time, before she became someone's wife. Did he even realize just how much time had passed? Did he even realize how quickly humans aged? Her fingers dug into the earth as memories of her Lord flickered through her mind. Her heart swelled painfully as she thought of the last four years without him. He was the one person that she had thought that she could count on, but now all that she could count on from him was gifts twice a year… Painful reminders of how it used to be and of how it could have been if he had allowed her to serve him.

"Happy birthday to me…" She sang out softly, remembering the tune to the birthday song that Kagome had once taught her.

With a huff, she stood up and meandered back to the base of the tree where her shoes resided. Kaede would notice her missing soon, and it wouldn't due to arise any suspicion from the old woman. Plus, she didn't need any villagers gossiping about her whereabouts and ruining her betrothal. The walk back to the village was a quiet one which allowed her thoughts to wander. She knew that both Maki and Kuma would go into labor any day now, and she prayed that it wouldn't happen simultaneously.

She did not need to deal with a situation like that again.

After years of training underneath Kaede's watchful eye, she had finally given up the reins on Rin's seventeenth birthday. Now, Rin was the sole midwife for the village, with Kaede acting in purely a supplementary role. The priestess was getting old, far too old to be caring for the worrying pregnant women and newfound mothers. Rin loved her job. She loved the responsibility and position that it gave her. She loved helping these woman, so many of whom had grown up right alongside her, become mothers. She loved to see the smile on their faces as they held their newborn child for the first time. She could see the instantaneous unbreakable bond between the mother and child…

It was a feeling that she wanted to feel as well.

As of today, she was eighteen. She was old for an unwed village girl… All of the other girls her age had already been married off and nearly all had already had their first child. Rin was behind, a late bloomer, just like she always was. When Joji had approached her asking for her hand in marriage, she had been thunderstruck. For a brief moment, all she had seen was his slightly boyish face highlighted by his overtly good looks and soft smile. Her heart had sputtered to a stop, before it sped up to twice its normal speed.

When his lips had curled up in a slight smirk, she realized that her jaw had dropped.

He was nice, handsome, and came from one of the best families in the village. His family ran the second largest farm located on the outskirt of the village borders. She had even been the one to teach him how to write when they were young, after Kagome had taught her. She had grown up with him. She had seen him mature from a floundering pre-pubescent child into a well-respected man. Still, she had never thought… She had never imagined…

She had simply never even considered that someone would be interested in marrying her.

It took her a month to reply to his offer. In the end, she had agreed because of what everyone around her was saying.

'He's your perfect match!'

'I wish my daughter had married him…'

'He is the best suitor that you could get, at your age…'

She had heard the way the village people had talked. She had listened to Kaede's rumblings. Yet, only Sango was the one to offer her true advice. In the end, she went with her heart… and her heart called her back to the boyishly handsome man who had proposed to her. She wasn't sure if she would call what she felt 'love', it was more of a strong 'like'… She wanted to know how it felt to love. She wanted to feel the kind of passion that exuded between Sango and Miroku, and the kind of eternal love that still connected Inuyasha and Kagome, even though the well had sucked her back through time. Rin wanted to feel that kind of heart-stopping love… Maybe, that was something that would develop eventually, over time, with the boy that she knew she liked.

She rounded the last bend before the hut where she resided with Kaede and stumbled slightly when she saw Joji leaning back against a nearby tree. He smiled at her, sweet and innocent, before bending down to grab a wicker basket by his feet. He strode over to her and the closer that he got, the more that she noticed the slight bags that hung underneath his murky brown eyes.

"Happy birthday, Rin." His voice was heavy with the need for sleep, yet it rang with sincerity and kindness. He held the basket out for her to take, and she quickly grasped its handle. As soon as he let go, she marvelled at the weight of it, its contents hidden beneath a small piece of cloth. She blushed slightly before looking up at him.

"Thank you, Joji. But, you didn't need to come all the way out here… So early… You must be so tired." Her voice wavered slightly as she watched his balance slightly falter. He shook his head, his curly locks bouncing.

"Me being tired doesn't matter, what matters is if I was the first one to wish you a happy birthday." His eyes widened slightly in mild panic. "I was the first one… Wasn't I?"

A light laugh sprang from her lips that she quickly reached up to hide. "You don't need to worry about that, you are the very first person that I have seen today. Kaede was not yet awake when I had left." Joji's entire body relaxed as he loudly sighed in relief.

"Thank goodness for that." He huffed, tilting his head to the side. His eyes flickered over to her, watching her watch him, and a slight pink sheen dusted his angled cheekbones. The morning breeze twisted her long hair, making it swirl out in a wave around her. His eyes softened slightly as he tenderly reached out one hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. As his fingertips brushed against her pale skin, a small shiver ran through her body, eliciting a spark of emotions deep within her heart. Her eyes widened slightly as he, regretfully, pulled his hand away. "You really are beautiful…"

"I… I wouldn't say that I agree with…" She stammered.

He shook his head, cutting her off. "Don't. You listen to me, my precious Rin." His eyes bore holes into her as he, less timidly this time, reached out to trail his fingertips along her flushed cheek. "You are beautiful… Not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. I don't know a single other woman who can do what you do. I don't know a single other woman who is as brave, cunning, or smart as you are. You. Are. Beautiful. Understand?" He enunciated each word carefully, making her heart stammer a bit more with each heated breath. He had inched closer to her by now, and she could nearly feel the heat from his body. Her breath came in shallow gasps as she numbly nodded in response to his question. He smirked and dropped his hand as he took one big step away from her with an audible, regretful moan. "Good." He softly stated.

The noise from a rooster on a nearby farm broke their moment, immediately alerting them to the current time. The day had begun, and with it their work.

Joji ran a hand through his curly hair before rolling his eyes and looking at her. "I better get going, or else my Dad will have me under his foot all day."

Rin bit back her smile as she bowed her head slightly. "We wouldn't want that, if he works you to the bone for the next week, you wouldn't be able to enjoy our wedding festivities." She peeked at him through the shade of her hair to witness him suck in a quick breath. With a sudden hot flush, she realized the her words could have been taken in a different way than she had intended… In a non-innocent way. Her head flicked up as she quickly began to amend her previous statement. "Uh, I mean with the ceremony and celebration with the family."

Joji chuckled slightly at her frazzled state. "Of course, my precious Rin. I do not want to be tired for the wedding festivities. Let's enjoy that day to the fullest, okay?"

She nodded enthusiastically and just like that, he was heading off to his day of labor in the field with a wave over his shoulder and a silent promise that there would be more. With her heart still dancing to an erratic beat, she made her way into Kaede's hut to see the old woman already up with breakfast cooked.

"It took ye long to return this morning." Kaede analyzed her with her one good eye as she sat down beside her. Rin quickly reached up and spooned some of the basic porridge that Kaede had made into two bowls. She handed one to Kaede before she began to slowly consume her own. The porridge was bland and she couldn't help but wish that there was something in the hut that she could have used to add some kind of flavor, but the old priestess liked things done a certain way, a traditional way, and Rin wouldn't mess with tradition.

"I was enjoying the meadow."

"Mhm…" Kaede hummed as a playful glint lit up her face. "I also noticed young Joji waiting for ye this morn."

Rin's cheeks flushed and she quickly shoveled more porridge into her mouth, choking down the gritty substance. "He brought me a gift for my birthday. A basket."

"And what is inside ye'r basket?"

Rin's spoon stopped mid-air as she realized that she had yet to look. With a muffled yelp of excitement she sat down her porridge and reached for the humble gift. She pulled the heavy basket towards her and when she lifted the meager cloth up, she was met with a bounty of fresh fruit. Something small was wrapped up in another cloth and she quickly reached for the mysterious object. Her fingers fumbled with the wrappings before the cloth fell away and she was greeted with a beautiful black hair comb with pieces of pearl carefully laid within its obsidian surface. The pearls stood out like the moon in the dead of night.

"It's beautiful…"

"Surely ye must be used to such extravagant gifts, Lord Sesshomaru brings ye much more expensive treasures."

Rin could hear the question hidden within Kaede's voice. She shook her head softly. "My Lord has endless wealth. While I treasure his gifts, his presents to me surely don't mean anything besides the relationship between a Lord and his Ward. These though…" Her fingers brushed over the comb before darting down to grab a succulent pear. "These things would have cost Joji a lot… But, even more than that, he got them because he knew that they were something that I would like. He saw me admire this comb last month during Market Day and he heard me wish that it wasn't so hard to find fruit. He… He really cares for me, doesn't he?" Rin turned wide and hesitant eyes onto the woman who had effectively served as her mother. Kaede had been responsible for raising her ever since her Lord had left her in the village. Kaede had taught her how to be a midwife, Kaede had given an orphan girl like herself a welcoming home in a new and strange village filled to the brim with humans. Kaede was the one who had helped her to readjust to being around people, instead of the demonic company that she was used to keeping. Kaede had given her everything, and asked for nothing in return.

Kaede hummed and a warm smile lit up her wrinkled features. "Aye, dear child, that I do believe he does." Kaede nodded to herself. "He will take good care of ye." She paused for a moment before continuing, almost hesitant with her wording. "Have ye thought about what ye will tell thy Lord?"

Rin shrugged and sat down her precious comb before taking a big bite of the plump pear. Its juices ran down her chin and she quickly wiped away its trail. "I will not have to tell my Lord. He has not returned for four years, I doubt that he will return now. When Master Jaken comes with my gifts, I will inform him of my betrothal and he can inform my Lord."

Kaede's eyebrows furrowed. "Child, do ye think that is wise to…"

She didn't have a chance to finish before a frazzled man burst through their door, apologises trailing from his lips, as he exclaimed in mild terror that his wife, Kuma, had gone into labor with their firstborn child. Rin quickly cleared away her things, grabbed her basket that was filled to the brim with supplies, tied back her hair, and was out the door with the first-time father.

For the rest of the day she didn't think about anything beside Kuma and the healthy baby boy that took eight and a half hours to arrive in this world.

Once again, as she laid the baby upon the new mother's chest, she watched as an unbreakable bond sprang to life. Her heart ached with the need to experience the same thing… To be pregnant, to give birth, to see her child for the first time…

A flash of a silver-haired baby bubbled into view before her shock quickly popped it.

What the heck was that all about?

A moment later, a curly haired baby with Joji's smile and her brown eyes took its place, easing her heart and her confused mind.

Not long after, she was on her way back to the hut. The walk was filled with village chatter as people began to return home. The sun was sinking in the sky creating a wonderful backdrop of red and orange hues that melded together into something that made her feel like her soul had been ignited. She walked with purpose, with a sort of happiness in herself and the future that she would share with Joji, that she hadn't possessed even an hour earlier. When she was nearing the hut she heard him, Master Jaken, and childhood memories rushed her in an unwelcomed storm of emotions. She faltered slightly outside of the hut before baring her courage and pushing the door aside to enter. Inside, was her little green imp friend dramatically exclaiming all of the abuse he suffered.

"Why is that girl not back yet? Doesn't she realize just how long and difficult the journey to this place is?" His sharp voice grated on her ears, yet his squelching tone was somewhat welcoming.

"Master Jaken." She stated, making him jump and spin around to look at her. His eyes softened the moment that they laid upon her.

"So you're finally here, you ungrateful child."

She huffed and sat her basket down before walking around the fire to sit beside Kaede. The smell of freshly ground herbs wafted up to her as the soft grinding noise of the priestess's pestle and mortar reverberated throughout the small hut. "I was working, Master Jaken. Remember, I am the village midwife now."

Jaken huffed and folded his arms, his staff carefully held within the crook of his elbow. "So I hear."

Against her own will, Rin's eyes reflexively searched the small hut for any signs of her Lord's presence. Once again, as expected, there was none. Still, even though she doubted that he would come, a pain stabbed through her heart and made her stomach coil into a tight knot. "Did my Lord come?" Kaede flashed her a worried look before returning to her work.

Jaken shook his head. "Of course not. Lord Sesshomaru is a very busy and important demon. He can not take time away from his work for such menial and inconsequential matters as this."

Rin's shoulder's slumped. "Yes, of course, Master Jaken."

The little imp humphed before pointing to a package that sat against the far wall. "Your gift from me Lord."

Rin inwardly flinched at his bad use of grammar. Kagome had instructed her on the proper way to speak. She had taught her so many wonderful things, things a girl of her station would have never otherwise learned. "Will you thank my Lord for me?" Jaken nodded briskly. His eyes clung to her for a moment more before he twisted on his heel and began to head for the door. Rin gulped and quickly worked up the nerve to tell him what she truly needed to. "Oh, and Master Jaken?"

Jaken turned to look at her with a fake irritated grimace. "What is it?"

"Could you tell my Lord that I will be married in a week's time?"

For a long moment, the only noise in the hut was from the crackling of the fire and the grinding of herbs against stone. Jaken's large eyes nearly bugged out of his head and Rin felt inexplicably nervous. She couldn't pin it down, the odd feeling that swirled within her gut, all she knew was that she didn't like it.

"You're… You're getting married?" He screeched, nearly dropping his staff in the process as his small arms flew out in wonder.

She nodded her head firmly. "Yes, to a village boy named Joji. His family runs the second largest farm in the village. It is a good match."

Jaken blinked once, then twice, before regaining his composure. "I see. I will inform me Lord about your impending nuptials at once."

"Thank you, Master Jaken."

The imp watched her carefully, a glimmer of something akin to worry and sadness flashing across his face. But, it faded too quickly for her to decipher before he grunted and turned out the door, disappearing back into the wilderness.

Kaede shuffled on the floor beside her, a soft 'tsking' noise emitting from her lips, but when Rin turned to look at her the old priestess had lowered her face close to her herbs to inspect them.

"Ay, these are finished." Kaede mumbled as she pushed around a bit of the green substance with her finger. With a soft scrape of her wooden spoon against the stone mortar, she gently glided the herbs into a small container before promptly shutting the lid. "We will need these in a month's time, winter is upon us."

Rin mumbled her agreement as her eyes trailed over to the gift that had been brought to her. She couldn't stop her curiosity from bubbling up in the pit of her stomach. Her fingers twitched against the hem of her plain kimono as her mouth began to salivate. She grunted slightly and reached for one of the pears that Joji had gifted to her to quench her sudden thirst.

"Ye should open ye'r present child, tis rude to wait."

The sound of Kaede's wrinkly voice made her jump slightly as a sudden flash of irrational guilt flooded her veins. She sat the remains of her pear down on a plate beside her before she stood up to quickly retrieve the package. When she sat back down, her fingers brushed over the smooth and intricate pattern of the cloth that concealed her present. It was tied shut with a thick, silken cord that was midnight blue. With a small intake of breath, she carefully untied the cord and pulled back the edges of the smooth cloth. Inside awaited a glorious kimono made of a soft pink color with shimmering golden stitching resembling a field of sunflowers. It was far too fancy for her to wear in her everyday life, but she could maybe wear it for the summer festival next year.

Instantly, her mind shot to an image of her Lord and herself walking through a field of daisies. He stood beside her, as regal as ever, as she bent down to string together a crown of flowers like she used to, the sunlight making the golden stitching on her new kimono sparkle…

Her fingers gently dug into the kimono's material as she forced the thought away. Her Lord had not returned for four whole years and there was nothing to suggest that he would return soon.

In a week she would be married.

In a week she would be Joji's wife.

Once more, in her head, she told herself that it was a good match, the best match that she could even wish for given her circumstances and murky heritage.

Joji was a good man, of that she was sure, and she knew many other girls who were not so lucky.

"Mhm…" Kaede's voice broke her from her thoughts as she turned to witness the old priestess turning away from looking at the kimono that laid within her grasp. "That is indeed a fine kimono that he hast sent ye." Kaede stood up slowly, placing her palm on the small of her back as she stretched her aching limbs. "I dare say too fine, ye Lord sees not the use of practical items." Her nose wrinkled up slightly and Rin looked back down at the silky material. Kaede wasn't wrong. Her Lord had never truly sent her something that was of practical use within her daily life. He always sent something flamboyant, something that showed off his status and made her appear to be of a higher rank than her pitiful background would suggest. Still, as a child she had loved his exorbitant presents. She would dance through the streets in the fancy kimonos that he had sent her, making her the envy of all the other village women. She had heard their nasty words and the looks that were thrown her way. She had seen the narrowed eyes and turned-up lips as she had passed, she simply hadn't cared back then. Her Lord had still been visiting her frequently and no one had dared to actually confront her for fear of feeling his wrath.

Her Lord could be quite the fearsome being.

Rin's lips curled up in a faint smile as images from the distant past flashed through her mind. She had always loved it when he was near. She couldn't explain it, even now, he had simply felt like home. As much as Kaede had tried to make her small hut feel like a home for Rin, it had simply been an impossible feat.

Her home had been, and would remain, by her Lord's side.

Yet, she had forced herself to become resolved to the fact that she would never get to spend her life serving him. After the third year that he had yet to return to visit, she had simply decided that she had to push away the heartache of missing her home, and choose to make a home in the place that she was at now.

This village, this place, Joji's house… It would be her home.

"Child, we must retire now. The morn will come quicker than ya think."

Rin nodded her acknowledgement as she quickly and skilfully packed up her new kimono. She placed it lovingly inside the ornate chest that her Lord had gifted her when she was young to store her belongings in. As soon as the wooden lid was open a rainbow of colors greeted her. So many kimonos… So many pieces of clothing that she had hardly had the chance to wear… So much waste.

She should really sell them so that she could bring a healthy sum of money into her new marriage as part of her wedding trousseau. She didn't have much else that could be offered, and the kimonos were of little use to her and her future family. She closed the lid softly and quickly went about getting ready to go to sleep. By the time that Kaede and herself were snuggled into their futons, the growing cold of the coming winter had begun to seep through the thin walls of the hut. Rin pulled the thick blanket over her head to cocoon herself in the warmth that it provided.

Her birthday was over and her Lord, once again, had missed it.

With a barely muffled groan, Rin shoved her face into her stiff, buckwheat pillow and forced herself to fall asleep.

* * *

The next morning passed in a rush as a flurry of village woman came calling for herbal medicine for their children. The cold that had seeped in during the night had cause a bout of sniffles throughout the youngest ones in the village. Kaede's forehead furrowed in worry as she listened to tale after tale. Rin watched her from the sidelines as she gathered and packaged the appropriate medicine for each customer.

Rin knew that look.

A sickness was coming to the village, they would have to be prepared.

By the time that lunch had rolled around, Rin was exhausted. She ate her food greedily, as if she hadn't ate in days. Kaede simply watched her with a bemused smile. It was just when they had finished washing their dishes that Sango burst through their door with an exuberant smile plastered upon her face. Her youngest child, little Kagome, clung to her leg. Her dark brown hair hung in gentle waves, just kissing the tops of her shoulders. Her eyes were wide and sparkling, filled with curiosity and the edges of fear. She was only a little over two years old…

Which meant, of course, that it had been about three years since the well had sucked Kagome back through it for the second, and final, time. It had been three years of Inuyasha suffering as he was eternally parted from his mate. Rin couldn't even imagine that kind of pain. She quickly pushed away the thoughts of her friend and held out her arms towards the small girl. Little Kagome glanced nervously up at Sango, who nodded, before she quickly let go and sprang into Rin's waiting arms.

Rin couldn't help but giggle.

She poked Kagome's button nose, making the small girl squirm. "Have you been good?"

"Yes! I'm a good girl." Kagome's voice was chipper and full of excitement. Rin reached to the side and pushed aside the cloth covering to grab one of the juicy pears that Joji had gifted her.

"Have you been helping your Mom?" Rin kept the pear just out of reach and watched with barely controlled glee as Kagome's chubby cheeks pulled back into a wide smile.

"Mhm! I helped Mommy chase Katsuro."

Rin's eyebrows rose and she turned to look at Sango, who merely shrugged. "You know how he can be."

Rin smirked, she did know how Sango's only son, and second youngest, could be. He was only a year older than Kagome and he was full of energy. At the moment, his favourite play-toy was Shippo. But, the little fox demon hadn't been around as much lately and, when he was, he spent most of his time by Inuyasha's side, both of them wallowing in the pain of their shared grief.

"You were a very good girl then." Rin smiled and handed the girl the pear. Kagome's small hands quickly snatched it before she brought it up to her lips to take a tentative bite. Her eyes lit up as its juices ran down her lips.

"It's yummy!"

Rin nodded as Kagome continued to eat. She was situated comfortably in her lap, and Rin's arms instinctively wrapped around her middle. She wanted this. She wanted to have her own children. She wanted to be a mother.

"You look good like that, ya know." Sango's caring voice broke her from her thoughts and she blushed.

"I don't know about…"

Sango shook her head, cutting her off. "I've seen you, Rin. You will make a wonderful mother, when the time is right."

The two women looked at each other with gentle understanding. Over the years, especially since Kagome had been stolen away from them, they had gotten closer. Even with the age gap between them, there was a lot that they could talk about. Mostly, they would talk about Kohaku. Even the mere thought of Kohaku made Rin's heart warm-up in a sisterly manner. She had spent such an important part of her life with him, by her Lord's side, that he had become a part of her created family. He didn't visit often, but when he did he was greeted by cheers and hugs from Sango and herself.

"I stopped by yesterday, but Kaede let me know that you were at a delivery. I wanted to get to say happy birthday to you and give you your present from Miroku and I."

Rin's eyes lit up and her grip on Kagome tightened ever-so-slightly. "You didn't need to get me a gift…"

Sango reached into the bag that was strapped around her back. "Just think of it as a part of your trousseau." She pulled out a small wooden box and handed it over to Rin. Rin sat it down on the floor beside her and removed one arm to gently lift open the lid. Kagome squirmed in her lap to get a better look, dribbling pear juice on herself as she moved. Her small hand pushed into Rin's knee as she peeked beneath Rin's arm. Rin lifted the lid and saw a small, but beautiful, calligraphy set with some rolls of parchment.

"I know that it isn't much… But Kagome taught you to write, and I know how much you enjoyed it…"

"Me, Mommy?" Little Kagome pointed at herself in confusion.

"Not you, my darling, your namesake."

"Oh…" Kagome drew out the word. "Uncle Yasha's Kagome."

"Yes, Uncle Yasha's Kagome."

Kagome nodded as recognition dawned upon her. Rin closed the lid and reached up to run her hand through Kagome's hair. The little girl was mulling something over. She had sucked in her small, bottom lip and was gently chewing on it, a trait that her namesake had as well.

"Where is Auntie Kagome?"

Sango's deep, brown eyes clouded with sadness as she reached over to gently run her fingers through her daughter's hair. Rin's grip tightened slightly on the small girl as she flashed back to the day that she had realised that Kagome would never return…

That day, that dark, chilly, foreboding day, was forever etched into her memory. She had known as soon as she had seen Inuyasha. He had disappeared for a few days, but that wasn't uncommon. Once in a while him and Kagome would just disappear and when she had asked where they had gone, Kaede would simply tell her, "Ye are far too young to know the where and why."

For a long time after that, she still hadn't been able to comprehend Kaede's words. It wasn't until Sango had sat her down and explained the birds and the bees that she finally understood exactly why the happy couple had disappeared into the middle of nowhere, with no forewarning, and had giant smiles upon their return.

But, this time, when she saw Inuyasha looming down the forest pathway, she knew that something was different.

She had known that Kagome was gone.

Inuyasha's cheeks were sunken into his face. He looked hollow, as if his soul had been sucked from his body and he was merely a walking corpse. He walked with slow footsteps, every step forward clearly filled with immense pain. His eyes were cloudy, distracted, and red from crying. His dog ears hung low against his matted hair, and even some small twigs stuck out of his silver locks.

In short, he had looked destroyed.

Even now, he had barely regained his once healthy glow. His cheeks were still slightly sunken and his eyes were still filled with clouds. He acted on auto-pilot, unless he was around Sango and Miroku's children.

Rin sucked in a sharp breathe as she silently prayed for the memories to abate. She didn't want to think about Inuyasha's sadness right now. She didn't want to think about her own sadness at the loss of her mentor and friend. She wanted to delve into the happy… She wanted to rejoice in her upcoming marriage and in the gift that her friend had just given her.

"Remember? Auntie Kagome is gone, she can't come back to us." Sango's voice was soft and patient as she waited for the news to wash over her small child.

"But Uncle Yasha is sad, she needs to make Uncle Yasha smile."

Sango smiled sadly and reached over to pick Kagome up out of Rin's lap. "I know baby girl, but that can't happen."

Little Kagome puffed out her chest as a determined gleam lit up her chubby face. "If Auntie Kagome can't come make Uncle Yasha happy, then I will! I'm a Kagome too, so that means that I can make him smile." She nodded to herself, her eyes alight with a fire way too eerily reminiscent of her namesake. Rin bit back her small laughter as she watched Kagome jump out of her mother's arms and begin to dart around the hut singing, "I'll make Yasha happy! I'll make Yasha smile! It is Kagome's sacred duty to turn that frown upside down!"

Rin had no idea where she had somehow picked up the words, 'sacred duty', but found them utterly adorable when sung with a lisp.

Sango stood up and brushed some invisible dust off of her simple kimono. She motioned towards her daughter who quickly skipped to her side. "Well, we better get going. I'm glad that you enjoyed your gift." Her deep eyes traveled over to where Rin's present from Lord Sesshomaru lay within her carved wooden chest. Her eyes hardened momentarily before she gritted her teeth and turned away. "See you soon!" With a cheerful smile and a quick wave the two departed the hut, leaving Rin and Kaede only with the noise of the crackling fire.

Loneliness hit her like a brick.

Rin immediately missed the way that Kagome had felt within her arms. She wanted that… She wanted to be a mother. With a renewed burst of happiness she focused on the man who was willing to provide her with everything that she dreamed of, Joji.

* * *

Sesshomaru sat at an ornate wooden desk. A large pile of papers lay before him, burdening him with their barrage of pointless words. How he wished that he could solve all of his problems with Bakusaiga. How he longed for the days when he had wandered the countryside, demonstrating his strength to all that had been unlucky enough to encounter him. A few lamps flickered within the room, casting an orange glow against the countless scrolls and leather-bound books that graced his bookshelves. His toes curled into the tatami beneath his feet as he stared at a document concerned with the amount of rice barrels collected from one of the northernmost villages within his territory.

Boring.

Boring.

Boring.

He nearly smiled when Jaken's scent drifted towards him. The green toad was a welcomed distraction from bureaucracy. It was nearly ten minutes later before he heard the small demon shuffling outside the doors to his study. Sesshomaru's fingers tightened slightly around the quill that he held.

Why was Jaken hesitating?

"Come in, Jaken."

He heard Jaken yelp, startled by the sound of his voice, before the large doors were pushed open and the imp scuttled through.

"Me Lord." Jaken bowed deeply, but Sesshomaru didn't miss the way that he quivered slightly.

"What is it?" His voice held no emotion, no hint at the curiosity that was starting to invade his mind.

"I gave Rin her gift, me Lord."

Sesshomaru's grip tightened, threatening to break the thin quill. Jaken was evading him, he was hiding something. The imp's green head was covered in his disgusting, dewy sweat. He narrowed his eyes, just slightly, and watched as Jaken squirmed backwards.

"About Rin, me Lord…"

Jaken trailed off, making Sesshomaru's eyebrow twitch in annoyance. "What about Rin?"

"As ye know, she is past the age of, ah-hem, womanhood… Rin asked me to inform me Lord that she will be married."

Sesshomaru's lips pressed into a thin line as Jaken spurted out one more bit of news, his voice strangely quiet.

"In a week."

Just like that, his quill snapped in two.

~ Author's Note ~

So, this is my new story! This is my first one focusing on Rin and Sesshomaru. I will do my very best to remain within character. Not everything within the story will be historically accurate, but I will try to keep it as close as I can.

What do you think? Should I continue?

Also, I should mention that this story happens within the same lore as my fan fiction, "Sterile". The order that the stories are read in doesn't really matter, as about 500 years separates them.

Thank you for reading, please leave your thoughts in a review!

While in the past I updated twice a week, if I continue with this story I will strive to update once a week with a minimum of a 6,000 word chapter.

~ FeudalAi


	2. Chapter 2

As each day slowly rolled by, Rin felt her excitement grow. She saw Joji sparingly and from a distance. His figure just a dark outline within the distant fields. If he saw her, he always waved, surely antagonising his father. His father, after all, could be quite the stickler. Everything had to be done in the proper manner, at the proper time, or else it would only serve as a sign of, "humanities growing ineptitude and unruliness". But, Rin didn't care. While she would reside within his father's house, she knew that the old man had a kind heart and a desire for grandchildren.

She wanted this.

Each day, as she went about her menial tasks, she would think about her humble wedding. She would imagine her trousseau that would be given to Joji and his family. She would imagine the dancing in the village as everyone celebrated with them. She would imagine, finally, getting to kiss Joji for the very first time. With each day, her lingering doubts began to fall away, allowing her to revel in the momentous change that was about to happen.

Still, no matter how much you want something to happen, fate has a way of stealing it from you without your permission or gratitude.

Three days before her wedding, three days before her life would change for the better, her future was destroyed.

It was midday and Rin was sitting with Kaede as they worked in companionable silence to create medicine for the growing number of ill children. Kaede's suspicion had been right, a disease was beginning to strike their small village. They both hoped that it would go away soon, that the medicinal herbs that they had collected would be enough to rid the children of the phlegm-spewing cough that ravaged their small bodies. Rin was absorbed in her task as she painstakingly tied each small bag of herbs closed. They had to make sure that there was enough for each patient without depleting their entire stock for winter.

But, when Miroku came shuffling through their door, out of breath and wide-eyed, she knew that something was wrong.

She just never expected what.

"Monk, what are ye doing 'ere?" Kaede's mild shock laced the undertone of her voice. Rin gulped as her eyes flicked between the two. Miroku took a deep breath to calm himself before his steady eyes roamed over to Rin's slim form.

"I have news." He didn't elaborate. He just stood there with his eyes glued onto her, seemingly unable to speak.

"What is it child?" Kaede sat down the mortar that she had been holding, giving the monk her full attention. "Is everything alright with ye brood?"

Miroku quickly wetted his lips and nodded. "Yes, my family is fine. The cough has not reached them yet and Sango is keeping the children away from the village centre."

"Aye, that is a good plan."

The hut fell into an uncomfortable silence as Miroku continued to watch her. She bowed her head so that she wouldn't be starring into his eyes. He looked so forlorn that it chilled her to the bone.

"Spit it out already ya damn monk!" Inuyasha shoved open the door and stomped inside of the hut. He caught his breathe slightly when he looked at Rin, but quickly gritted his teeth and lightly shoved Miroku aside.

"Inuyasha! I did not expect to see ye 'ere."

Inuyasha shot Kaede a nasty glare as his hands curled into fists. A growl rested upon his lips, but he restrained himself, before looking back at Rin.

"There's been an accident. In the field."

Rin's mouth became parched and her heart raced within her chest. Her mind jumped to nasty conclusions, conclusions that she didn't want to even fathom.

But, the look on Inuyasha's eternally somber face told her that she was right.

"Joji is dead."

With those words, her world caved in.

Her jaw fell open and the small bag of herbs that was in her hands burst, sending a fine layer of pungent medicine into the air. Inuyasha wrinkled his nose, but he didn't look away from her.

He was the only one to not look away from her.

The hut froze over with a new kind of terror as sadness pressed in upon them.

"Wha… What kind of accident?" Her words came out croaked, like she was choking on thin air.

Inuyasha shifted and crossed his arms against his chest. "They're not sure. We're about to go and investigate now. All they know for sure is that they found him with a stab wound in his back and a pitchfork close by." Rin gasped and her hands began to shake.

Miroku coughed and began to speak in a soft voice as silent tears began to descend Rin's face. "They are claiming that it was a demon attack, since it happened on the outskirts of the property near the border of the village. But, I don't know what demon would be dumb enough to attack someone in Inuyasha's village." Inuyasha scoffed, but his chest pushed out slightly with pride.

"Aye… I agree. But, 'tis not impossible." Kaede mumbled.

"I suspect that it may have been one of their hired labourers and they are using demons as a tidy coverup. Don't worry, we will figure out the truth."

Rin nodded and turned slightly to stare into the swirling flames of the fire. She had known Joji ever since she had arrived in the village. She had grown up with him. He was one of the first people to not be scared of her, back when her Lord still visited often, and he was one of the first to truly befriend her and teach her the ways of village life. Joji, he had been a dear friend. But, even more than that, he had been her future.

Her eyes wandered over to the carved wooden chest that held her multitude of gifts from her Lord and the small calligraphy set that Sango and Miroku had gifted her. Her trousseau… She guessed she wouldn't be needing it anymore. A new kind of ache swelled up within her gut, rising to the back of her throat. She gulped away the vile taste, but felt it licking her tongue in its eagerness to escape her. Inuyasha crouched down in front of her, the sudden red of his fire-rat breaking her concentration and making her jerk her head backwards. His ears rose slightly and twisted to point at her.

"It will get better." He said matter-of-factly.

She gulped. "It never got better for you." The words escaped her mouth before she could stop them. As soon as they were uttered, she regretted them. Inuyasha flinched and his ears flattened against his skull. His amber eyes looked away from her as he slowly rose from his position and walked to the door. It was only once he was exiting that he spoke to her again.

"True, but Joji wasn't your Kagome."

With that, he walked through the door with Miroku quickly following behind him. Rin's heart was beating out of control. No, she didn't love Joji like Inuyasha had loved Kagome. But, did that make her pain any less important? Any less real?

She hiccuped as tears began to fall, unrestrained, down her reddened cheeks.

"Ka… Kaede…"

"Yes, child?" The old woman scooted closer to her and gently pulled Rin's head down to rest upon her shoulder. Her withered hands reached up and tugged at Rin's ponytail until her long strands fell free from their restraint.

"Joji… My Joji… He's dead." Rin hiccuped as an unearthly moan shot from her lips. The pain in her gut began to swirl as memories of Joji flashed behind her closed eyes.

Of him offering her shaved ice covered in a sticky syrup her first summer in the village…

Of him holding her hand, for the very first time, as he innocently helped her learn how to walk in the awkward wooden shoes that everyone in the village wore. She had always preferred to be barefoot, and hated the idea of wearing anything restraining on her feet. He had taught her a game, made her sing and laugh, and before she knew it she forgot that she was wearing any shoes at all.

Of him, nervously, asking her and Kaede to meet his parents within an official setting so that their betrothal could become officially acknowledged.

"I know, child. I know." With those words, Rin fell into a fit of tears as Kaede held her, muttering soothing phrases by the flicker of the firelight.

* * *

Sesshomaru walked slowly through the forest, dismayed at the anger that he felt swirling within his chest. How dare his ward agree to a betrothal without his permission! His frustration seethed inside of him, yet he couldn't fathom its existence.

Why should he care if his lowly human ward had taken a lover?

His mind shot to undesirable places and he gritted his teeth as he forced away the unpleasant images. No. Rin, his pure, angelic, child-like Rin would never take a lover. She was no whore.

Still, the very thought of her upcoming wedding sent his mind into dangerous territory. The more he thought about it, the more his anger grew, and the more frustrated he became at himself for his unreasonable feelings.

Feelings… Pitiful, weak, human emotions. While his father had forced him to learn compassion for humans, he still found feelings to be troublesome things. He didn't like reacting out of anger or sadness. He liked rational things. He liked to think everything through and logically select the best thing to do.

But, right now, he was definitely acting on emotion hidden beneath a somewhat plausible logical decision.

Ah-Un followed him slowly, weighed down by the items that Sesshomaru intended to add to Rin's, undoubtedly small, trousseau. He clenched his teeth again as the word, 'trousseau', infiltrated his mind. The very thought of allowing Rin to marry irritated him. She was his ward. She was only a child!

He knew that his anger was illogical.

Yet, his frustration was palpable.

It would take one more day at this tedious pace to reach the village.

Images of Rin from the last time that he had seen her floated through his mind. She had grown from the year before and she nearly tripped in her haste to hurry towards him. Her large smile was infectious and he felt the corners of his lips twitch. He quickly controlled himself, and remained as impassive as ever as the small girl approached him. Her hair was unrestrained and its dark strands twirled in the brisk wind.

She had looked so happy, so innocent, so… perfect.

His Rin, she was pure perfection.

An image of the young girl that he remembered so vividly kissing a blurry human male popped into his head.

His step faltered and his eyes widened almost imperceptibly. Why did his heart feel so heavy? He had avoided seeing Rin for a few years now, he had wanted her to adjust to living with humans, he had wanted her to create a life for herself. So, why did the whole thing just feel so wrong?

But, more importantly, why did he even care?

* * *

Rin sat in the hut in a complete fog. The whole word seemed grey to her. She felt numb, frozen in the new reality of her life. Kaede worked silently, moving around the hut and going about her business as quietly as possible. Rin thanked the heavens that none of her patients had gone into labour. She knew that one was due any day, but she was in no state to deal with it. Her whole word felt like it had collapsed. She had been sucked in, devoured by the miedo and forced back into the netherworld.

Today should have been her wedding day.

The whole village was in mourning. Instead of a wedding, Joji's funeral was held. It had been a somber affair where Rin played the part of the mourning fiancé. She stood behind his family and tried not to see the way that Joji's mother cried and his father's shoulders shook.

She felt like her grief didn't belong there, like her feelings were of less importance. After all, they had never even kissed. She didn't even love him. Her grief… It felt like it was uncalled for, unjust, and unreasonable. She felt like she was masquerading as somebody else, as someone who truly loved Joji. She had cared for him, she had truly liked him, she had grown up with him… But, she still felt like a fraud.

The world was passing by in slow motion. She barely even recognized Sango when she sat beside her, holding her hand, as they both stared absently at the fire. Rin's fingers curled into Sango's as she held onto her with all that she had. Sango was like a tether, forcing her back to earth and reality.

"It's going to be okay, Rin. You have to believe that." Sango's. soft voice broke through the fade that surrounded her. She turned to look back at the older woman. She blinked a few times, forcing her mind back to their present.

"I know." Her voice was soft and hoarse from lack of use.

Sango smiled softly. "I know that it hurts. But, you've made it through worse. You are a fighter. You always have been. You are brave, unique, and strong. You have a way about you that is indescribable. What other human child do you know who could tame Sesshomaru's stubborn heart?"

Even though she didn't want to, she felt the corners of her lips twitch up in a soft smile. She leaned her head against Sango's shoulder and breathed out a heavy sigh. "I didn't really tame his heart, ya know."

Sango's thumb rubbed the back of her hand gently. "I think that you did. You softened him. Everyone else can see it, especially Inuyasha."

Rin's soft smile fluttered as she thought back to when she had first met her Lord, when he was injured and lying underneath a large tree. "He always had a kind heart, you just had to look."

Sango scoffed. "You're the only one who thinks that, dear Rin. Few others would agree with you."

"Kagome would have agreed with me." Her words hung there, full of pain and memories.

Sango sighed. "Yea, Kagome would have agreed with you. Towards the end she really thought that Sesshomaru and Inuyasha could even have a brotherly relationship."

Rin's eyebrows rose in mild surprise. "Really? I've always thought that same thing."

Sango squeezed her hand and let go as she slowly stood up. She was just about to say something else when she froze. Her eyes widened only moments before Rin sensed the same disturbance.

No, it couldn't be…

She jolted upwards. Her hands shook as she patted down her mussed, plain, yukata. Her hair hung down her back, lose and unrestrained. In short, she was a complete mess.

But, there was no mistaking it. That aura… That impressive power could belong to none other than her Lord.

She felt like she was going to choke. She gagged, torn between the choking sensation that tore at her throat and the vile puke that she could feel crawling up it. It had been four years… Four long years and he decided to show up now?

Rin quickly tied her hair back and gently slapped her face, bringing a bit of colour back into her pale complexion.

Lord Sesshomaru….

The door opened and, like a dream, he slightly ducked his silver head and walked into the room.

Rin couldn't breathe.

His amber eyes were piercing her. He hadn't changed, not even a little bit. All of her memories of him came flooding back to her with vivid clarity. Her mouth fell open slightly and she quickly snapped it shut. His eyes wandered toward Sango, assessing her briefly, before immediately flicking back to Rin.

"Rin."

His voice was like butter soaked in honey, deep and strong, yet with an air of familiarity. Instantly, her heart swelled and pounded within her chest. He was so… Beautiful. His silver hair cascaded down around him, making him look even more elegant and regal than he already was. Her body reacted to him automatically. She took a step forward, and then another, until she reached Sango's side, her eyes wide in disbelief.

"My Lord…" She sounded breathless, his title barely a whisper on her lips. His eyebrows rose a nearly imperceptible degree. His mannerisms came rushing back to her. The slight twitches of his lips, the narrowing of his eyes, the way his fingers would curl slightly when he was irritated… She remembered all of the little things about him that you could only learn if you spent a long time by his side.

Silence pressed in around them, making the entire room feel tense.

Sango shifted slightly, effectively drawing his attention. "It's nice to see you, Sesshomaru. It has been a long time." Sesshomaru's gaze landed upon the demon slayer, yet he remained as silent and stoic as ever. Sango huffed and crossed her arms. "It has been four years, what is the occasion?" Her voice was stern and demanding. Rin glanced over at her friend. Protectiveness radiated off of her. Rin's frozen face twitched up in a smile. No matter what, Sango had her back.

Sesshomaru's eyebrow twitched, slightly betraying his irritation. "My ward is getting married. I have come to deliver her trousseau."

The moment of fleeting happiness that had infiltrated Rin's brain at the appearance of her Lord was quickly squashed as his words washed over her. Yes, she was supposed to be married today. Of course, he had only come to give her a trousseau befitting of the station that he had given her.

Of course, he hadn't come because he actually wanted to see her.

Of course, he hadn't come because he'd maybe, just possibly, missed her.

She cringed at her thoughts as her sadness washed over her again. How could she even entertain thoughts of Sesshomaru coming to see her because he missed her, when her fiancé had only died just a few days ago?

She was pitiful.

Rin's head hung low as she forced words passed her lips. "The wedding is no longer happening, my Lord." Her voice was shaky and soft, but she knew that with his excellent hearing that he had heard every word. When he remained silent, she lifted her head slightly only to catch the ending of a fiery glint in his eyes. Before she could even process what she might have seen, it was gone, hidden forever within the shadowy secrets that he kept.

"Canceled?" His voice… How she wished that it didn't melt her insides. How could his mere presence affect her in this way? Why did her heart beat twice as fast and her palms become sweaty? Why did she feel like, just for a moment, that it was hard to catch her breath?

Honestly, could she even say that she knew the demon that stood before her anymore? It had been four long years since she had seen him last and a lot of things had changed for her. Surely, a lot must have happened in his life as well. When she saw him last she was just a child, innocent and naive. Now, she was grown. She had responsibilities. She had a purpose in this village, in this life that he had chosen for her.

Truly, they didn't really know each other anymore.

Sango coughed slightly, drawing Sesshomaru's attention. She shifted to step in front of Rin, earning her the vaguest remnants of a scowl. "Her betrothed, Joji, died a few days ago."

Rin peeked out from behind Sango as silence encircled them once more. He betrayed nothing. He gave no hint at all as to what he felt or thought as the news of her betrothed's death reached his delicate ears. With a disgruntled sigh, she slipped back behind Sango's reassuring form.

"I see."

Two words. Just two lousy words was what he offered. Her slim fingers curled into the palms of her hands. She had always known that he was a man of few words. In fact, she used to think that was an enduring quality. She had been able to talk for hours about her every whim and he had always listened to her stories and songs. But, now that she was grown, she wanted to know what was happening within that head of his. She had barley been around him for more than a few minutes and was already finding his tight-lipped attitude annoying.

She bit the inside of her cheek and forced herself to hold her head up high. She wouldn't hide in front of him. What did she have to be ashamed of? Why did she feel the need to cower behind Sango? She was strong, just like Joji had told her. There was no shame in admitting that she was sad, that she missed her friend who should have been her future. There was no shame in her life. With a determined nod she stepped out from around Sango's back. Sesshomaru's amber eyes followed her every move, quietly evaluating each minute decision that she made. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his fingers twitch.

He was… Bothered.

Before she could let that thought even somewhat worm its way through her mind, a villager pushed through the door to the hut, nearly ramming into Sesshomaru in the process.

"My wife…" The villager took off his straw hat and crumpled it within his tight grip. He was wide eyed and panicked, so much so that he hardly even noticed that someone unfamiliar was in the hut with them. Rin could already feel her muscles beginning to tense as she prepared herself for what she knew was to come. "She's in labour."

Instantly, Rin's mind cleared of all distractions. "I see."

"I'm… I'm sorry to interrupt you during your grieving…" His words spilled out of him, unchecked and filled with worry.

Rin shook her head and smiled slightly. "Don't worry about it. I'll be right there, okay?"

The man quickly nodded and with one slightly scared glance at Sesshomaru, darted out the door.

"Rin…" Sango reached over and gently grabbed her forearm. Rin forced a larger smile onto her face and shrugged her off.

"Don't worry. I must take care of my patient." She met Sango's worried eyes before quickly grabbing her basket full of the things that she would need for the delivery.

"Patient?"

Rin balanced her basket on her hip and steadily met Sesshomaru's gaze. She sucked in a small breath as she felt her courage swirl up from deep within her.

 _"_ _You are beautiful… Not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. I don't know a single other woman who can do what you do. I don't know a single other woman who is as brave, cunning, or smart as you are."_ That's what Joji had said to her. His words were etched into her being now as the memory of his voice soothed the ache in her gut from missing him. Joji was right. She was brave. She was smart. She wouldn't cower, she wouldn't hide, she wouldn't shy away from her duties in the face of her Lord. She would be strong, determined, and as steadfast as always.

"Maybe Jaken did not inform you, my Lord, but I am the village midwife now. I have many women under my care." Her voice was strong now, with no hint of the sadness that still pulsed within her. Now was not the time to be sad, she had a job to do helping a new life enter this world. She looked at him for a moment more, soaking in everything that was him, trying to memorize his scent, the way that his hair fell around his shoulders, the exact shade of purple that graced his cheeks, and the way his eyes appeared to devour her. She tried to remember it all in that one, short moment because she honestly didn't believe that he would be there upon her return. "Goodbye, my Lord."

Before he could say another word she left the hut and determinately strode to help her patient. It wouldn't be until many hours later that the cries of a newborn child pierced the night air.

* * *

How could he have forgotten?

Seriously, what was wrong with him?

Jaken had told him that she was a midwife. Jaken had told him that she had fallen into her role within village life, that she had finally fell into the flow of living with humans. Jaken had told him that she was starting to forget, as all humans do, the days of her life with demons. That had pleased him originally, but now…

But, now…

His knuckles cracked and with barely a glance toward the demon slayer, he exited the hut and strode across the small clearing into the thick foliage of the forest. He couldn't understand the feelings that were baying within his chest. Rin… His little Rin… Well, she wasn't so little anymore.

She had filled out in ways that he hadn't expected. Her hips had grown wider and her breasts had swelled to their full potential, evident even beneath her unflattering yukata. He could tell that she had gained toned muscle from her time spent gathering herbs and treating patients. He could see the way that her face had aged. Gone was the baby fat that had once clung to her cheekbones. Now, her jaw line made her face the center of attention, frustratingly drawing his eyes back to it again and again.

It was her eyes, though, that worried him.

Gone was the playful glint that had always remained within their brown depths. Now, they seemed almost hollow. Her cheeks were stained red from the tears that stunk up the small hut. The smell of her sadness bothered him in a way that he couldn't explain.

He walked for a few minutes more before finding Ah-Un. He stroked Ah's head briefly before his hand trailed down its neck to the packages that were strapped to its back. He had brought all of this here for nothing…

He should be frustrated.

Then why did he feel so relieved?

"Ah-Un…" The beast immediately reacted to him, turning to listen intently to its master. "We will be staying longer than intended." With a swipe of his claws the luggage clattered to the forest floor, banging into the ground with a heavy thud. "Rin would like to see you." His words came out uncharacteristically hushed.

Ah-Un nearly groaned in relief as the heavy bags fell from his back. With just a gentle flick of his wrist, Ah-Un wandered across the clearing to graze.

Rin's face came floating back to him, like a dream or a nightmare except he couldn't decide which. Her beauty and her sadness showed up in equal measure to taunt his excellent memory. She was defiantly no longer a child…

Rin…

Her scent was like lilies after rain. Just by being around her for a few moments he longed for that scent. It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical… He ground his heels into the soft dirt as he spun and gave in to his primal urges. He walked with purpose back to the edge of the village. He finally found her in a small hut outside of the village center. He was so close that he could smell the scent birth and hear the voices from within. Rin's voice was soothing and calm. It never wavered in its strength. The edges of a smile floated upon his lips as he stayed within the forest's concealing border.

Rin…

"What are you doing here, bastard?"

Sesshomaru almost scoffed at his brother's tone. He tilted his head just enough to see him. "We both know who the bastard here is."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. One of his disturbing ears tilted towards the hut that Rin was currently within. His cheeks looked shallow, his eyes were sunken in, and his hair lacked its usual luster. Without wanting to, Sesshomaru couldn't help but marvel at the state of his brother's disarray.

"You're here for Rin then, I see."

Sesshomaru turned his gaze away from him. "No."

"Sure… That must be why you're keeping watch on her right now then… Because you're _not_ here for her."

Sesshomaru gritted his teeth. "You look terrible, did that deplorable dead priestess come back and steal your soul while I was away?"

"Why you!"

He knew what Inuyasha would do. He spun and caught the weak punch that was aimed at him. Amber clashed with amber and he found himself even more disturb by the distinct lack of energy from Inuyasha. "Weak." One word. That was all it took for Inuyasha to drop his fighting stance and slink back to lean against a tree.

"I know."

His solemn words hung there between them. Not knowing what to say, and not actually wanting to help, Sesshomaru pushed aside the small part of himself that cared and turned his attention back to the hut. Night was beginning to fall and the soon-to-be mom's breathing became incessant and heavy.

Would he too, one day, have pups?

His eyes narrowed to a dangerous degree as he obliterated that thought. He would sire pups when the time was appropriate and most advantageous for his kingdom. He would do his duty, and no more. He gritted his teeth as unwanted images fluttered through his brain.

Pups…

Being a father…

Was that something he even wanted?

"You came to take her back, didn't you?" Inuyasha's voice was soft and hushed. It was so uncharacteristic of him that it made the hairs on the back of Sesshomaru's neck stand on end. He turned to face his brother, but didn't respond. Inuyasha simply closed his eyes for one long minute and released a heavy sigh before opening them again. There was a hint of life back in their amber depths as he spoke. "I don't know what you want with Rin. I know what Kagome always thought…" For a second, he trailed off, consumed by the torment of his own everlasting pain. Sesshomaru nearly cringed. How could someone love another to that degree? How could someone's life utterly depend on the happy existence of another's?

He would never understand.

Inuyasha lowered his arms, resting a palm on Tessaiga's hilt. "She was supposed to marry Joji today. Instead, he was probably murdered by a greedy farmhand." He huffed and Sesshomaru's hand automatically shifted to rest upon Bakusaiga. He could feel its power nearly humming beneath his fingertips, longing for a fight. "If you take her… Well, I guess I should say if you can even persuade her to go with you…"

Sesshomaru's eyebrows furrowed ever-so-slightly. "And why wouldn't she?"

The corners of Inuyasha's lips vainly fought to pull up into a smile. "Because she has a life here now. She has purpose. And… She wants a family. If she goes with you, that will never happen. You live in a palace filled with demons. If you take away her chance to have babies, she will hate you forever, Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru's breath caught in his throat, but he didn't let his discontent show. Before he had the chance to respond or even, truly, gather his thoughts, a cry broke out into the night. The child had been born. Inuyasha's ears twitched in the direction of the cry. "Can you hear that, Sesshomaru? Can you hear the sound of Rin's heart right now as she hands that baby over to its mother?"

Sesshomaru felt rooted to the ground. Indeed, he could hear the way that Rin's heart had sped up as she brought the newborn safely into this dangerous world. He had heard her shallow gasp as she wiped amniotic fluid from its eyes, nose, and ears. He had even smelled the way that her scent had changed, ever-so-slightly, into a more heated, heavier aroma.

Still, he pushed these thoughts aside.

"If you take her, just promise me one thing."

Sesshomaru turned to look at his brother once more, but he didn't respond. A strange feeling akin to fear was creeping up in the back of his throat and he didn't know why. He hated not knowing why.

"I've kept her safe all this time that she has been here. If you take her, keep her safe, Sesshomaru. I'll never forgive you if you get her killed." With those words, Inuyasha quickly darted away back into the darkness of his forest.

Sesshomaru's hand tightened around Bakusaiga, feeling its power entwined with his own. He scoffed. "As if I'd ever get her killed." He took in one last, deep breath of her heated aroma, cherishing it and locking it away within the depths of his memory, before he spun on his heel and headed back to where Ah-Un waited.

* * *

Just as she had expected, her Lord was not at the hut upon her return. She sat down with a heavy heart and immediately laid out her futon and pulled the thick cover over herself. All she wanted to do was sleep by the firelight. She turned on her side to watch the flickering flame as memories from the delivery washed over her in a gentle flow. The moment that she had cradled the baby's head, gently but firmly, as it came into this world… The moment that she cleaned it and blessed its arrival before giving it to the parents…

Rin ached.

She ached with her loss. She ached with her guilt. She ached with her longing.

She felt like she was betraying Joji's memory because she felt pain at the loss of the future that they would have had together. She felt like her future had been ripped from her. She was getting old now by normal village standards and so many people still thought that she was odd, or even feared her because of her link to Lord Sesshomaru… She doubted that anyone would propose to her again.

Rin grieved because she felt like she had lost her one and only chance to become a mother, to have a family, to have the life that she had always dreamed of.

Images of silver-haired babies once again fluttered into her mind, but she quickly shoved the ludicrous thought aside. Her Lord hadn't even stayed in the village for more than an hour. He was, surely, long gone by now.

Her eyelids fluttered shut as silent tears slowly dripped down her reddened cheeks. Her Lord… He had been more than what she had remembered. He was, simply, spectacular. She giggled slightly as she imagined his face if she had ever dared to say that out loud to him. One of his eyebrows would twitch, just slightly, and his knuckles would crack as he flexed his fingers. In short, his reaction would have been adorably priceless.

For the first time since the news of Joji's death had reached her, Rin felt a moment of peace wash over her, allowing her to happily fade into sleep.

* * *

Sesshomaru stood a little ways behind Rin's hut. He didn't want to get too close, he didn't want her to know that he was watching her. Not yet, at least… Her breathing was soft and even, signaling that she had fallen asleep. He didn't understand his need to be close to her. He hadn't felt this need in the last four years, so why was he feeling it now?

Was she simply much more intriguing now?

This Rin perplexed him. She hadn't reacted to him in the way that he had become accustomed to during her childhood. Now, she was reserved, even daring to hide behind the demon slayer. He didn't understand this Rin. Gone were the whims of childhood fancy. This Rin… She was a stranger to him.

Then why did he feel this way?

Bakusaiga hummed along at his side, equally confused. His hand automatically shifted to its hilt, feeling its power. He ached with the need for battle, to flex his muscles and feel his strength swirl around him in a powerful wave of poisonous energy. It had been so long since he had any semblance of a fight…

With the vaguest hint of a grin, he disappeared deep within the forest, his poison whip trailing from his claws, as he slashed away every weakling in his path.

Still, as he cut down his pitifully weak foes, only two questions ravaged his mind.

Would Rin not come with him?

And, more importantly, did he even want her too?

~ Author's Note ~

I'm so sorry! I never take this long to post updates, I just had a severe case of writer's block. I know where I want this story to go, but sometimes I find the beginning to be the hardest part.

What did you think of this chapter?

Sorry if the plot is moving along a bit slow, it will pick up eventually.

Thank you for reading! Please, review.

~ FeudalAi


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